Monday, September 12, 2005
{ 1:17 AM }
i dont know why am i feeling this way now.. but honestly this really sucks..!! it really sucks really badly!! I really don't like this kind of feeling but i guess i've to go through it one more time again..feel like cying, guess there's no more tears to flow out from my eyes anymore Sigh~~ I feel that the world like drifting apart, it no longer seems to be as one anymore!! why.. people kana chop and left at orchard mrt station - why these ppl really got nothing better to do to chop ppl's body and gets a life sentenced or smth worst.. people killing people- fun meh? do these kind of things?? Right now, i'm feeling that no one really understands me.. no even my closest frien(do i have one in the 1st place?) duno la, i'm like so alone.. A-L-O-N-E..ms Lonely is me now..i'm afraid to be alone now..not saying that i've got no friends but just no one seems to be there for me now..I remember very clearly what my frien said,there is no answers to everything unless you've already have one in mind..But what's my answer to everything..I dont wan to add on burden to all my friends.. being a burden is like so heavy..!! EVen my family, i don't play a part now.. i'm no longer jasmine in the family anymore..everyone has their own lives to live with and what am i .. i'm just the blacksheep of the family..everyone seems to hate me in their lives but i've never asked them to love me.. I've come in into many friendships and broke some of them..if i know this day will come.. i wld just be myself and be alone..and be a loner..!! being a loner is not a bad choice, just that you wld have to do your own things, and make your own F***ing decision when things goes wrong.. It just seems to me that i've been living in my own world, I just feel like leaving everything behind including the wonderful friendships that i had with many of you coz i don't wan to be a burden anymore.. maybe this is a test tat i wld have to go thru again.. but this time.. i wld have know the results by now..- FAILED